Harris's Version of His Visit: Part 2

Now its time to talk about our epic weekend. In order to get out of Australia and to my new job I needed to find some way of making it to Cairns by Monday evening, so I figured: "why not rent a car and make a road trip out of it?" We all woke up at 6 am Saturday morning and got ready to leave. Kelley, knowing how important it is to get a good nights rest made sure she went to sleep extra early Friday so she wouldn’t be tired or groggy the next day. After renting a rather peculiar blue Hyundai that had the drivers seat on the right, we set to explore this strange country where people drive on the left, measure distances in kilometers, sells gas by the liter, and calls their Burger Kings “Hungry Jacks”.

Our first stop was the legendary Frosty Mango, supposedly one of Australia’s best ice cream places, even if my Mint Chip tasted disturbingly like frozen toothpaste.  After that little detour we drove up a very narrow and winding mountain road into the Paluma Rainforest where I left Maria and Kelley deeply impressed with my driving skills, and my ability to avoid all of the downed tree branches on the road.

Unless Harris is driving, then the winding never ends.

Once we got near the top of the mountain we spotted a small waterfall from the road, and parked to investigate.  As we walked down to the falls we were startled to find a rather uninhibited couple about to skinny dip with their 4 year old child. After some quick hand and arm movements on their part, and some speedy spinning on ours, we decided it would be best to meander down stream instead.  After a while we headed back to the cars where we found the skinny-dipping couple (now fully clothed) parked next to us leading to another rather awkward moment for all involved.

After all that we were back in the car on our way to Undara Volcanic National Park in the Australian outback.  After turning onto Hervey’s Range road I was struck by the fact that there was nothing around. No towns, no gas stations, no people, no other cars. Nothing.  Even the “Historical Monument” consisted of only a few stones with plaques on them to commemorate the great 2005 paving of the road. 

:-(     is right...

It was at this moment that I noticed that our car’s parking break had been on the whole time we were driving. I turned the break off and we were off again.

Now at this point I was thinking it would be impossible to drive down a more desolate, lonely stretch of road.  That was before I turned onto the Kennedy developmental highway. This 200 km stretch of one lane, dust covered road seemed to go on forever. However this drive was not as dull as you’d think. After stopping at the only gas station for 110 km in either direction we had lunch and met the kindly 9 fingered gas station owner who warned us about “roos” jumping across the road.  On the road itself we passed several Road Trains, which are sort of like enlarged tractor-trailers, but instead of towing one container they tow three or four.  There were plenty of Kangaroos (alive and dead) all around the road and even some Kangaroo crossing signs.  Maria decided that she wanted to get a photo of these signs, and for three hours every time we were about to pass one Maria would get out her camera, aim, shoot, and then loudly let out an obscenity as she failed yet again to photograph the large, highly visible, and immobile object.

Harris took "keep left" literally.

Finally after an entire day of traveling we arrived (alive and well, thanks to me, but no big deal) in Undara Volcanic National Park.  We checked in, and headed over to our tents.  Maria and Kelley were in one tent, and I was in another with a deck in between. After I checked their tent for spiders, we headed to dinner in Undara’s signature restaurant, made up of several old railway carriages placed under a giant canopy designed to collect rainwater.  I had a delicious meal of Kangaroo, while my two travel companions settled on Chicken.

After dinner Maria and Kelley said that they were tired and were going to go to sleep. I decided I’d stay up for awhile longer and walk around the park.  I took a flashlight and went off.  I could hear various birds and insects chirping away in the night and I found a two nocturnal wallabies hopping about. Finally after about half an hour I decided to turn around and head back to the tent.  As I got closer I started hearing some new bird or something, and as I got closer still I realized it was coming from around our campsite. Finally it occurred to me that what I was hearing was not an animal but Maria and Kelley laughing uncontrollably. Perplexed I went to their tent where I found them both still cackling and was forced to ask what was so funny. After a little bit Kelley had calmed down enough to begin making intelligible sounds again.

Kelley:  “The parking break was on”
Maria: * sniggers*
Me: "umm… that was over 12 hours ago”

At which point Maria & Kelley both lost it again and were reduced to a laughing fit for a further half hour.  While you may think this is an exaggeration (truth be told I wouldn’t have believed it possible myself), I assure you they were laughing uncontrollably for that time period, and indeed continued for some mystifying reason to laugh at anything related to parking breaks for the remainder of the weekend. I am still not entirely certain why the parking break thing was so funny, and my attempts to explain that the car was driving fine, and that we had nothing to worry about only seemed to make them find it funnier.  I suppose I will just have to relegate the whole situation to one of those life mysteries that are beyond my ability of comprehension.